Bereavement death and what to consider.
What do you say to a friend who has had a bereavement? Death in the family is a difficult issue to deal with. This may seem an odd choice for a blog post, but it is something that affects us all at one time or another.
Many people feel bewildered when it comes to the etiquette of bereavement. Death is an issue many of us would prefer to avoid, people don’t know what to say or do, they don’t do anything. But even discomfort and ignorance are not good reasons for ignoring friends or acquaintances at this difficult time.
Flowers and notes cannot be sent too soon, and commercial sympathy cards are fine if you add a personal note. If you are puzzled about what to say, look through the cards and find two with messages you like. Buy one card, and write the message from the other inside. Better yet, just look into your heart and write the words and feelings you find there.
At the funeral or memorial service, take your behavior cues from the family. Refrain from suggesting that the deceased is better off, and refrain from imposing your religious beliefs on the mourners. Remember, grieving is a process that takes time, and bereaved parents or spouses may not be able to respond to your sympathy at first.
Follow up on your card or note with a phone call, another note, or social invitation in a few weeks or months. And no matter how awkward you may feel, how distant the relative or casual friend, death should never be ignored.
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Very good post… Very well written…
I lost my Dad at 16, my Mom at 46, then my best-friend/hubby just 29 months ago at 51…& no one has ever said anything that helped except for one of my neighbours, who’d lost his only wife 10 yrs prior & all he did was hug me & whisper in my ear ‘It won’t ever get better, just progressively worse day by day’. Now that may not sound valuable to others who’re not in this position, but to me, it was so valuable, as he pre-warned me of the most difficult journey that lay ahead…!
I’ll send you the story if you would like, but otherwise, good posting Paul…!
God Bless…